Well how do you do…

So… I don’t really have much to share today. Oh wait… One other thing. I’m re-designing my website and have decided that I OFICIALLY suck at it. Okay so I don’t suck at it I just don’t enjoy it AT ALL! Anyways… I am looking for someone who wants to trade services, and I don’t mean icky “services” I mean, trade our talents. You can design my website-since you love it so much- and I can take pictures of you, your family or your baby. It’s just that easy. Okay, so spread the word.

Thanks guys!
Steph

P.S. I was out shooting photos with my awesome friend Jen and I took this photo of us. It really isn’t anything photographically fancy but I thought it was neat or cool.

Connection

I feel such a strong connection to this little girl. Seeing her photos always brings a great delight to my face. Even though she is unable to do much, I feel a connection to her.

Connection

One definition of connection is a channel of communication. I feel this communication everytime I look at her photos with her eyes open staring back at me, almost like she knew I was there taking her photo so that her mother would be able to remember her for always, in this moment. The greatest compliment I have ever received was from her mother.
It is so amazing that zoey was awake, because she never is and you were able to get so many pictures of her with her eyes open. It means so much to me….because I barely have any with her that awake.

Connection

So I ask you, please pray for miss Zoey. Please pray that she has the strength to keep going, pray that she is not in any pain and pray that her mother, father and brother will continue having the strength to go on every day hoping that today will be better day for their daughter/sister.

Below is a message that I read on her Caringbridge site. I am so afraid that she may not make it this go around. This is why I am urging you to pray hard for her, and even if you don’t believe in God, please think positive thoughts for her, because I would hate for this connection to end for this precious most beautiful young lady.

Thank you!

Steph

Not sure where really to begin. I apologize for not
updating quickly and as things happen. I probably should though. I want everyone
to know what is going on so prayers can be prayed but sometimes I just do not
have the strength to do it. I definitely am in a funk, a slight depression and
just completely overwhelmed. I am unsure of how to put these feelings into
words.

Zoey has been moved up to the PICU (pediatric intensive care
unit.) On the floor her breathing was becoming very labored and she was working
so very hard to breathe. Her oxygen levels were dropping and the pneumonia was
not getting any better. Her lungs were full of mucous. The left lung was
especially bad and she was barely passing any air at all through it. She was
brought up the unit to be placed on a CPAP machine. This would help to keep her
lungs open with positive air pressure and give Zoey a break. This way she did
not have to work as hard to breathe. Before we came up the doctor had a talk
with me. A talk that I will never forget. He explained to me that he spoke with
Zoey’s neurologist in length about her condition. Zoey is very sick. Yes, she
does have infantile spasms. Yes, she does have partial focal seizures. These are
horrible conditions alone not to include everything else that is going on with
her. Her brain is not developing correctly. There is something underlying that
is causing these problems and we may never know what it is and in turn never
know the proper way to treat it. With all that said, things look bleak. Zoey’s
neurological condition and status are determining the rest of her future. I know
all of these things. I have taken the time to prepare myself for the worst but I
never thought that this would actually happen No matter how hard you try to
prepare yourself for something like this, it will never make it any easier. I
never thought I would be discussing what Zoey’s treatment plan would be. He told
me that Derick and I needed to discuss how far we wanted to take this and what
exactly we were willing to put Zoey through. I literally felt the life sucked
out of me at that moment. I do not want to make those decisions. This is my 5
month old daughter. She has not had a chance to live her life. She is not 90
years old and I can say that she has lived her life to it’s fullest. But at the
same time, what about her quality of life now. Since day one Zoey has rapidly
declined. She sleeps and seizes. Besides her first day of life, I have never had
a moment where I felt connected to her; where I felt like she was in the world
with me. I have never had her look into my eyes and I know that she saw me or
was a part of my world. She has fought so hard to be where she is today. I have
never seen her awake to enjoy the world around her. I wonder if she even knows
that she exists. She is never awake or able to move any part of her body. This
is no life for her. Oh the pain…I am so scared. I am scared to loose my child.
These have been the longest 5 months of my life. It seems like I have been doing
this for years but at the same time it seems like just yesterday I was pregnant
and giving birth to my daughter.

Our time in PICU has been overwhelming
and we have had a couple of scares. We actually had to change a to Bipap machine
instead of a Cpap. A bipap helps with inspiratory function as well as
expiratory. She is breathing on her own but she is working very hard to do that
and not talking deep enough breathes. She will tire out very quickly at this
pace and that in turn can cause other problems. We have almost had to intubate
twice but each time Zoey has pulled out on her own (or by the strength of god.)
She is so strong and such a fighter. She has fought through some very rough
times and I am sure that there are more to come.

Derick is here with me
now. He came up Monday and is going to stay until Thursday. We have a family
meeting scheduled tomorrow with the doctor, social worker, case manager and
nurses. This will be to discuss long term care for Zoey. This will include
palliative care options, intubation, a tracheotomy and if any of this will help.
From the neurological stand point, Zoey is not going to get any better. Her
brain is not developing at all. There is no communication between both sides and
there is very little myelin. Without the development of myelin she will not
live. If there is not normal function in the brain, there is not normal function
anywhere else. She is rapidly declining and has been doing so since birth. She
has lost a lot of function. They only expect this to get worse.

I have
no idea what to do. I want to fix all of this. I want to yank her up out the
hospital bed and take her to another hospital. I want another opinion. I want
some one to be able to tell me what is wrong with my daughter and what we can do
to fix it. I talked with Zoey’s geneticist on Friday. We discussed how we have
tested for a lot of things, over and over again, and everything is negative. He
does still believe that it is something genetic and that we just may never know
what. I am not happy with that answer. I can’t fathom loosing my daughter
because no one can figure out what is wrong. Well, what about the next child
that this happens to? You don’t just say “oh, we had that happen to a girl once
before.” I keep replaying in my head what I could have done differently, where I
could have taken her, what I did wrong?? The geneticist says that it is no one’s
fault and there is nothing that we could do to change this. Derick and I just
carry an abnormal gene and they met up at the wrong place. He told us that if we
choose to have more children there is a 25% chance this could happen again.
Another thing that makes me very upset but I will not even get into that now.

Derick and I have no clue what our decisions are about Zoey’s care. I
don’t want to loose her and neither does he. At the end of the day, we want to
know that we did everything possible for a our little girl. We want to make sure
that we left no stone unturned and that we never gave up. But then there comes a
point when we don’t want to see her go through this anymore, where our heart
hurts for her and where we feel selfish for putting her through all this. I
would never be able to live with myself though, knowing that I just gave up. I
just want to crawl up in a hole and not come out. Derick has mentioned that he
would just love to run away and not come back. The situation is just too hard
and overwhelming to deal with. I can’t believe that people actually go through
this everyday. I hurt for everyone that has to make these decisions.

I
want to ask that you continue to pray for Zoey’s miracle and COMPLETE healing.
“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for,
it will be done for you by my father in heaven. For where two or more come
together in my name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18:19-20. I am still
clinging to hope that this can all change and that our God will perform a
healing and miracle in our Zoey’s life. I ask that you pray for strength for
Derick and I. That we are able to walk by faith and that we continue to place
one foot in front of the other.

I apologize again for not updating. I am
sorry for not calling or answering my phone. Some days I just can’t do it. I
just can’t go through it again. We love you all and thank you for your support.

Been Busy…

Trying to redesign the website. It is going to look awesome when I get done with it. 🙂 Talk to ya’ll later!

Steph

Photo Session

Hey Bella Flora friends! I have been intending to blog about this for a little while. As of January 2009 I am no longer portfolio building. Due to this I will be doing a limited amount of complimentary sessions in exchange for a free print. This alone is a $120 value! I am looking for 2 participants in each of these categories:

Maternity
Newborn
Engagement/Couples
High School Seniors (2 boys and 2 girls)
Little girls who want to run around in pettiskirts
Musicians/Bands

Each session will last about an hour. A model release is required for all of the sessions listed above. In return for your time you will receive a free 8×10 from your session and the ability to purchase your sessions prints at a 10% discounted rate. CD’s of the proofed images will be available for $175.00. Please email me if you are interested in setting up a session.

Miss Zoey is beautiful

So I finished editing Miss Zoey’s pictures and I have to say that she is just the most beautiful young lady ever. Every time I look at her photos it just warms my heart. She reminds me every day to appreciate the ones that I love and keep near and dear to my heart. She will forever be my inspiration to be a better person. I look forward to photographing her with her family when the weather gets warmer. Here are a few more from my session with her.

I’ve got lots of great things in store for all of you. Can’t wait to get them on here. I have an AWESOME new senior spokesmodel program starting up soon. Keep an eye out for it. And I will have much much more fun stuff going on. Starting off with a little contest. More info to come with that. Hope all of you had a great Christmas and New Year. I’ll post some photos from our trip soon… I need to edit some of them soon.

Talk to you all later!

Steph

Is your child America’s Cutest Kid?

Nashville, TN—January 16th, 2009 – Local photographer, Stephanie Drummond of Bella Flora Photography, is participating in the National Charity Model Search to select “America’s Cutest Kid” and to raise funds for charity.
Participating photographers will submit portraits of local children, ages 18 months to 14 years, for online voting to determine the city finalist. The child voted city finalist may elect to serve as a model during the 2009 Sandy Puc¢ Tots 2 Teens Seminar Tour at a city near their home.

City finalists are determined by online votes. Anyone may vote. Each vote is $1, and all proceeds from each vote benefit Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS.org). Photography and modeling industry experts will determine the contest’s national winner. The national model winner receives many prizes, including a $5,000 US Savings Bond and a Canon PowerShot G10 digital camera.

Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTD), is a 501(C)(3) non-profit organization committed to assisting parents and families going through the difficult time when they experience an early infant loss. NILMDTS connects families with photographers and provides them with a DVD and a reproducible CD of the images of their baby at no cost to the family. For further information on NILMDTS, visit their website at http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org.

Sandy Puc¢, Model Search organizer, has long believed charitable work is the backbone of the community. She created this contest to highlight excellence in the portrait photography industry as well as raise funds for NILMDTS, and organization she co-founded in 2005.

Parents who want to enter their children in the contest may do so by calling Bella Flora Photography at 615-298-9918.

Local photographer Stephanie Drummond has been a professional photographer practicing in the Nashville area since 2008. For more information on Bella Flora Photography please visit their website, http://www.bellafloraphotography.com.

For further information, visit http://www.sandypucmodels.com.

Hmmm

Okay, so I have been on vacation. I probably should have told ya’ll about it. Well the hubs and I went to Disneyworld! And it was AMAZING! I haven’t really had a chance to edit many of the photos, but I have done one. Here is the hubs! He looks so cute!

More to come in the next few days. I’m still working on the images of Miss Zoey. So I’ll post a few of those soon.

Hope you had a great Christmas and New Years!

Steph